A few years ago, someone described me as their “biggest success story”, and while I was initially flattered, it also made me feel a bit “humph.”
We had met at a time when I was struggling - Mum to two young children, working full-time, struggling to know who I was and find my own space in the world. They introduced me to different activities, and through teaching me (and others) burlesque, helped me find an inner confidence I didn’t know I had. They became a coach, promoting positive body image and confidence for women, and I know they have grown to be successful in their business, which is great. I also know that I was in a place where I lacked confidence and needed a guiding hand. As with all of my previous relationships, I morphed into the person I thought they wanted me to be - clothing style, interests (some of which I still hold). Because of this, I was their success. I displayed more confidence, I supported them (at the expense of others) and focused all my energies on their projects. Not to say that they weren’t great causes, but they were theirs.
This friendship ended pre-pandemic, and initially I thought my world had fallen apart. I was anxious, I didn’t know who I was anymore, I questioned myself about every little thing (and every big thing). But since then, I have worked in the NHS through a pandemic. I have successfully published two books and have another on the way. I am exploring other genres of writing. I have studied for and completed a Masters. I have had two promotions at work. I have co-founded a national forum for non-medical prescribers working in mental health. I have developed beautiful friendships with other women (which initially filled me with anxiety, I can tell you!). I have made links with incredible creatives around the world. I write blogs.
I made these things happen, no one else.
For years, I would always shrug off a compliment, or shine the light on someone else - when I was a team leader, we received a glowing appraisal and I automatically replied “it’s down to the colleagues I work with.” If an event went well, it was down to someone else. If I delivered a teaching session and it was well received, it wouldn't be down to me! It was easy for me to slip into the role of “right-hand woman” and let the light fall on someone else, even though I worked hard too.
I feel I can finally say (at 48!) that I am my own success story. In my career, I am starting to get to grips with my new role. With my writing, I feel I have found a space for my voice.
And YOU are YOUR OWN success story. Whatever drives you, whatever your passion - it’s down to you and you alone. Never forget to let your light shine brightly, because the world needs more of it. Particularly as a woman. We are conditioned to support others, to stay modest and not blow our own trumpets. Why should we stay small when we are doing incredible things? When we have voices with important things to say? What we do and say matters, so share it with the world - loudly and brightly!
With much love, as always,
Anna x x