Something has been bubbling in me for some time. I started thinking about it back in December following a coaching call with the wonderful Meg Kissak entitled “F#ck Off, 2023”. It was a really empowering session, reminding us of what we have achieved and how incredible we are. Meg said something about our fire being different as we age, and it maybe becoming more authentic. I wrote a brief Instagram post about this, about how our fire is still there,
“...maybe not as explosive as it once was, maybe not as visible for all to see. Maybe our fire is now more internal, heating ourselves rather than everyone around us. Maybe it is burning just for us. Maybe it is waiting for us to feed our flame, to come back to who we are. The fire is still there. Maybe it just needs a different kind of tending now, and we need to learn how to stoke the flames.”
What seems to be stoking my fire currently is anger. It’s internal, I’m not rampaging about the town (yet), but with everything that’s going on in the world at the moment, I am angry. The injustices that continue. The unfairness. The blatant turning away from suffering by those who are allegedly in power. The ever-widening chasm between the haves and the have-nots. And not just in the UK. There is a genocide taking place, innocent civilians are dying in their thousands. Mothers having to protect their children from death, and if they succeed, to then have to attempt to feed them and provide shelter. Gilead becoming a reality in the US with women, some of them children, some of them survivors of vicious sexual attacks, being forced to bear children, in the name of some right-wing ideology. The earth itself on the cusp of being destroyed because of human greed. The wealthiest individuals happy to sit upon their thrones of cash while the poorest continue to suffer.
This is why I can’t watch the news. I get angry, then I get told to not get upset because there’s nothing I can do. Or, even more baffling, get asked WHY I’m angry!!
WHY ARE YOU NOT ANGRY????
There are two quotes that keep coming to me. The first is from Jasmin Kaur:
Scream, so that one day a hundred years from now, another sister will not have to dry her tears wondering where in history she lost her voice.
Maybe my fire will come back tenfold, to yell and shout, to make change for the women coming after me. I have two granddaughters now, and I want their world to be so different to the one I have grown up in.
The second is from Gloria Steinem:
One day an army of grey-haired women may quietly take over the Earth!
Do we have to do it quietly? Maybe we do. Maybe my fire needs to gently ignite fires in others to make change. I am that grey-haired woman. I love the idea of an army of us marching on Westminster and Capitol Hill, demanding equality and fairness.
My inner fire is definitely still burning, and it is different from my younger years. Does it need to be explosive? Does it need to light the torch of others? All I know is that it needs to keep burning, because if it ever dies, what’s the point anymore?
What does your inner fire feel like?
With much love as always,
Anna x x
