Wintering has always been a challenge for me. Having been raised in the Western culture, where we “keep pushing through” with the same level of productivity all year round, I would do the same. In more recent years (by that, I mean the last decade or so) I wondered whether I had Seasonal Affective Disorder - in the winter months my energy levels would drop, I struggled to keep up momentum, I felt fatigued and low in mood at times. I felt overwhelmed by the thought of Christmas and all the prep work that came with it, and the busyness of the day where I would barely sit down, making sure everyone was happy and festive. Then back to work in January to just “power through until spring.”
I would become exhausted.
In the last four or five years, I have read more about cyclical living, working with the seasons and that phrase, “nothing in nature blooms all year round”, has become more like a mantra for me. Nature rests. Nature lets go in autumn and prepares to hunker down for the darker, colder months. She doesn’t force flowers to blossom in the frosty air. She doesn’t force trees to bear fruits. She pulls back on Her reserves and sleeps, using Her energy for only the most vital processes.
Over the last month or so, my need to sleep has increased. We went for a beach walk on the last Sunday in December (a rare dry, wind-free day), and when we returned home I was drained. I slept that afternoon for three and a half hours, woke up to cook dinner, and was back in bed at 9:30. And I still managed to oversleep on Monday morning! I have been going to bed around 8p.m. since my period of burn out in September, reading for a while or watching some television, but soon dozing off. Today, I have a day off work (primarily to have a tooth extracted this afternoon - joy), and had thought of all the things I could do whilst I had the house to myself. I woke up at 11:30…
I was discussing my nap habit with a doctor colleague last week (who happens to have a special interest in sleep disorders). “That’s not normal!” she chimed, “You don’t need that much sleep. It will do as much harm to your metabolism as having too little sleep.”
Not normal for who? Capitalist society? The men whose bodies were studied for sleep norms? What about perimenopausal, probably-ADHD, full-time working and household-running women? How much sleep do they need, even before we consider the seasons? What about working mothers?
And New Year… Is this really the best time to start reinventing yourself? Committing to things like exercise regimes and restrictive diets? When our mammalian bodies are in hibernation mode, the days still short and the air still cold? I’ve given up on the whole “New Year, New You” BS a long time ago, but it’s still out there. And by January 3rd, I have heard people already berating themselves for exceeding calorie limits or being “bad” with their food choice. Bollocks. In a coaching circle recently, one of the attendees who is Pagan said that she doesn’t start her year until Spring Equinox (in the Northern Hemisphere), when the days become longer than the nights again and her energy levels return to a higher state. And I like this! My creativity has been a little stagnant over recent weeks, my brain a little slower (again, perimenopause or hibernation-mode?). But I know ideas are percolating, ready to be written. Like this blog.
So, when I said “be more cat”, I was referring to our rescue cat, Lily. The last few days have been cold, frosty, wet at times. She normally loves to be out in the garden, but even she, on being presented with an open back door, poked her nose outside, sniffed the air, touched the wet paving with her paw and thought “nah.” Instead, she has spent much of the last few days curled up in my armchair (don’t mind me, cat, I’ll sit elsewhere…) sleeping. Today the sun is shining and she has ventured outside, patrolling the perimeter of our garden and resting in the weak warmth of the sunlight.
Maybe we should all "be more cat" and decide to rest until more clement weather returns. What do you think? It could start a revolution...
With much love, as always,
Anna x x
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